All Along
By ShadowDarkFyre

STORIES ON THIS SITE ARE INTENDED FOR ADULTS ONLY

Disclaimers: I am not a practitioner of copyright infringement. I'm not that desperate. Mulder and Scully, and anything else in the story that may pertain to the X-Files, are copyrighted and owned by Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen, and Twentieth Century Fox. All Rights Reserved. The song, "All Along", was done by the group, Blessid Union Of Souls. And was the inspiration for this story.

Summary: Mulder confesses to a piece of paper his love for Scully in a song he heard. Scully discovers the song and decides to end their mutual loneliness.

Classification: Mild Mulder/Scully angst, MSR, erotica

Archive: Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation, Romantics Fanfiction Archive, and any other archive that displays 'Shipper stories. I'm not picky. I like them all.
Spoilers: None that I can think of, though you could have your imaginations place it around the end of the fifth season if you want.

Notes: As I'm sure most of you will agree, emotion - especially the one we know as Love - makes the story all the more beautiful. And we know that what makes Mulder and Scully click so well isn't just the years of sexual tension between them. But also the years of unspoken and unrequited love they hold inside for each other. As an old saying goes, "All love is unrequited. The only thing that matters is how long it remains so." In either case, this is my first piece of erotica ever, so any comments: good or bad, are welcome. Thank you.

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All Along by ShadowDarkFyre

"All along, I have wanted you...
I pray tonight that you want me, too...
All along, there was no one else...
I've been waiting here... all by myself..."

"All Along", Blessid Union Of Souls

Fox Mulder sat at his desk, on the other side of the basement office he shared with his partner, Dana Scully. Five years it had been since she walked into his life. Five years he had been in love with her.

Five years he had lived with the fear of the consequences of such a revelation.

He watched his fiery-haired partner out of the corner of his eye as he pretended to pour over a case file. With her glasses perched on her nose, her sapphire gaze intense and concentrating, and her delicate fingers tapping away at her laptop, Scull y was the epitome of feminine beauty and strength. Mulder couldn't count how many times he found himself sitting there, fascinated by the mere sight of her. Or how many times he fantasised being more to her than just her partner and best friend.

Normally, he would have been halfway through berating himself for having such thoughts.

If he wasn't already beyond caring.

Truthfully, as he set the file down and rubbed the bridge of his nose, he realized that he was tired of carrying this silent burden of his. It was weighing him down. Dana Scully was the only woman in his mind and heart. She held posession of his soul without realizing it. All they'd been through together was testament to that. The myraid conspiracies. The life-and-death situations. The countless torturous ordeals of having to share seedy hotel rooms with each other while on a case. The countless arguments and disagreements they regularly had on the different sides of a case. His always believing and mostly fanciful outlook on the pros and cons of an X-File, versus her calm, logical, factual point of view. He smiled to himself. He'd go through the past five years again, if it meant reliving every look of consternation she shot at him. Every glance out of the corner of her eye. Every chance to guide her through a doorway by the small of her back. Every smile she graced him with: genuine or otherwise.

Every mere single chance to see her beautiful, sapphire eyed, flame-haired visage. Like an angel.

He found that he measured his life by Scully. While some would have found that borderline obsessive, it all made perfect sense to Mulder. She had become his life and his world. He couldn't imagine the past five years without her. Those three months in which she had disappeared drove him insane. He barely ate or slept, and would have walked through Hell itself if it meant finding her. In short, he couldn't imagine his life without her period.

But telling her:... confessing what he held inside, meant risking the chance that she wouldn't feel the same. That she might view such a confession as a breach of some silent agreement between them. The worst she could do was request a transfer els ewhere, and she'd be gone from his life forever. Worse still, someone might use that knowledge against them.

Mulder sighed quietly, weighing the pros and cons in his mind, as he absently wrote on his pad of paper. As the seconds passed, the words had formed into some sort of admission of emotional guilt. He had even addressed it to Scully. It was a small note, comprised of the chorus of a song by the group, Blessid Union Of Souls.

It took only a moment for Mulder to realize what he wrote and skim over it, humming the tune of the song as he did. Even those few words made his eyes sting, that familiar longing causing an ache in the center of his chest where his heart was. He a ched to say these words out loud to Scully right then and there. To throw all caution to Hell and confess to her on bended knee, come hell or high water. Holding this love for her inside was killing him.

In the end, however, it was fear that won him out. With an angry sigh, he crumbled the note up, absentmindedly leaving it on his desk.

"Are you okay over there, Mulder?" Scully asked, looking up over the rim of her glasses at her partner.

*God,* he thought, swallowing hard, *even the sound of her voice drives me insane.*

"I'm fine, Scully," he sighed, rubbing at his eyes. Feigning that they were sore to hide the tears of loneliness that suddenly and without warning welled up in his eyes. He was so alone. And the loneliness hurt so much. And because of his own cowardice, he had doomed himself to another day of it. "I'm going to call it a day. It's Friday, after all. Might as well start the weekend early."

Mulder rose to his feet, groaning slightly, as he reached for his trenchcoat, painfully aware that Scully's gaze was on his back. He turned around to look at her.

And fell in love again, like he had every day since he met her.

"See you later, Scully," he said, as he walked out the door.

"Bye, Mulder," Scully said, as she watched Mulder - the man she loved more than anything or anyone - walk out the door.

She sat there for awhile, watching the space where he had just been standing, her thoughts filled of nothing but him for those few quiet moments. He had seemed unusually quiet and down the majority of the day, and common sense told her that it was more than just being stuck in a basement office all day. Something was wrong. Maybe not severely wrong, but wrong nonetheless. She found herself wishing she could help him make it right, whatever it was.

*Yeah, I bet you do,* her thoughts teased her cruelly.

Scully took her glasses off and leaned back in her chair with a sigh, letting her head loll back a bit, her partner's form and face imposing themselves in her mind's eye. The past five years had given her the luxury of committing to memory every single aspect of Fox Mulder.

His boyish good looks.

His love for pornographic movies.

His intelligence and humor.

His oral fixation when it came to sunflower seeds.

His strength of character.

His terrible taste in ties.

His unwavering conviction in searching for the truth.

His looks, in particular, kept centering themselves in her mind.

His big, soulful brown eyes. His tall, lean, muscular frame. And that plump, almost pouty lower lip that was so tempting, half the time she felt like walking over to her partner and just suck and nibble on it all day long. Those long, capably strong arms that she longed to lose herself in and never find her way out of.

There were plenty of times when Scully wondered what a life with Mulder would be like. Of course she knew what life with Mulder was like as partners and best friends. She longed to know what life would be like loving and being loved by a man who won her heart from the first. Throughout all the bad times and good. All the arguments and disagreements. From Day One up till now. Mulder was the man she loved. And she wished that there was some readable sign from him that he felt the same for her. She was tired of being alone.

As she got up and gathered her things to go home, some unexplainable feeling drew her gaze to Mulder's desk, bringing it to rest on the crumpled piece of paper he had discarded there just before he left. She stared at it for a bit, before shaking her head, and standing up, her pantsuit fitting her form beautifully. As she walked to the door and got her coat, she stopped, looking at the ball of paper again. Unexplained feeling or no, her curiosity was pushing her to go look at the piece of paper. Af ter a few moments of silent debate, she gave in and walked over to the desk, picking up the paper, and slowly unravelling it. The worst it could be was some obscene picture spawned in his mind by all those porno movies of his.

What she found, however, was the answer to her wish.

Mulder was sitting on the couch early that evening, dozing fitfully through a rerun on TV, when the phone rang. It rang a few more times before he woke up enough to answer it.

"Mulder," he said, his voice gravelly and raspy from sleep.

"It's me, Mulder," came Scully's voice.

Mulder was alert and his heart was thumping slightly faster than normal. The very sound of her voice sent flames of desire up his spine.

"Hey, Scully," he replied, clearing his voice.

"Did I wake you?" she said, sounding a little apologetic.

"Nah, that's okay," Mulder reassured her. "Was only dozing a little watching TV. What's up?"

"I was cooking up dinner for myself just now, and thought I'd invite you over," Scully replied. "I'm cooking fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy. You could help me finish up the rest of my paperwork. Of course, if you're not up to it,..."

Mulder was almost too quick on his response. Like the million and one other times she had invited him over for dinner and paperwork.

"Sure," he said. "I don't have anything special planned. Let me get cleaned up, and I'll be over in an hour. Want me to bring anything over?"

"It's a weekend," Scully said with humor to her tone. "Might as well eat in style. Get a bottle of Gallo."

"Sure thing, Scully," Mulder said. "What kind?"

"You're a big boy, Mulder," Scully said in an almost teasing tone. "Surprise me."

Cabernet Sauvingnon was the wine of choice to go with their fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and vegetables, as they sat on Scully's couch and talked, skimming over a few case files. Mulder wore black jeans and t-shirt, while Scully wore regular blue jeans and a Georgetown sweatshirt, her hair done up in a tail behind her head. They sipped on their wine and relaxed, finally putting the files aside for awhile.

"It's been one hell of a week," Mulder said, leaning back into the cushions of the couch and sighing with closed eyes. Trying to ignore the not-so-innocent images of his partner that constantly appeared in his mind. "Thank God it's over."

"Yeah," Scully said, regarding Mulder over the rim of her wine glass. The plan she had made up ever since reading what was on that crumpled piece of notepad paper had her stomach turning somersaults with nervousness, worrying if it would go as she hoped, or crash in flames.

*It's now or never, Dana,* she thought to herself, as she set her glass down on the coffee table and got up.

"I'll be right back, Mulder. Could you turn the CD player on for me, please?"

"Sure," he said, as he watched her form walk away from him and down the hall to her room, closing the door behind her. He cursed himself inside for another missed opportunity to confess his feelings to her. He began to wonder why he decided to subj ect himself to more torture today by accepting Scully's invitation.

"I'm losing my mind, that's why," he grumbled, as he got up and walked to Scully's stereo system, turning it on, and switching on the CD player. Before he could make a move to set the play settings, a song began playing through the speakers. It only took a moment for Mulder to realize what song it was. And when he did, it froze him where he stood.

The note he crumpled up on his desk suddenly came to mind, as he listened, heedless of the pair of sparkling blue eyes that silently watched him from behind.

""Seems like yesterday,... but years have passed us by...
Precious memories... are clear before my eyes...
I can hear your voice calling out my name...
But I don't know you now,... and nothing stays the same...

"All along, I have wanted you...
I pray tonight that you want me, too...
All along, there was no one else...
I've been waiting here... all by myself...

"If you were here with me,... we'd ride the ocean tide...
To that special place I held for you deep inside...
I've kept good company since you've been away...
Lonely stayed with me,... when pride began to fade...

"All along, I have wanted you...
I pray tonight that you want me, too...
All along, there was no one else...
I've been waiting here... all by myself...

"And I will follow you till the end of time...
Til our love is at the end of the line...
You rolled out of my life, just like the wind...
And left behind a broken heart..."

Mulder stood enraptured by the song, as it spoke exactly how he felt for Scully. It was enough to make his heart rise in his throat in despair for what he thought he could never have.

As the song finished, he never noticed the object of his love and affection take another quiet step into the room:

"All along, I have wanted you... I wanted you...
I pray tonight that you want me, too... Yeah...
All along, there was no one else...
I've been waiting here... all... by myself..."

Mulder just stood there in silent shock, heedless of the tears that glistened in his eyes, as his heart beat painfully. A strange coincidence that the same song that he had in his mind when thinking of Scully earlier that day would be the song that reached his ears while in his partner's apartment. He realized after a moment that Scully would know something was wrong if she saw him like this. Saw the look in his eyes. She wouldn't let him leave until she had the truth out of him. He had to get out of there now before...

"Mulder?" Scully's voice said suddenly from behind.

*Too late,* he thought, as he slowly lifted his head. It almost hurt to breathe.

"I found the note on your desk after you left," her voice went on.

Mulder's heart dropped to the level of his feet, as his head fell forward slowly in expected defeat. The note. How could he have been so careless? It didn't matter, because careless he was. And now,...

"I love you too, Mulder."

Mulder's head snapped back up, his eyes opening wide. Did she just say...?

"We don't have to be by ourselves anymore if we don't want to," Scully said, as Mulder heard soft footsteps padding up behind him. "Not because of our job. Not because of the conspiracies. Not anything. I love you, and I know that you love me."

Next, a small, beautiful hand took him by the arm and turned him around. Mulder closed his eyes for a moment as he turned 180, then opened them.

There was his Scully standing before him, dressed in nothing but a white terricloth robe, tied at the waist with a sash. Her hair was loose and framed her pale, beautiful face, and her piercing blue eyes holding him in their stare. Mulder's heart c aught in his throat at the sight of her. And she was so close. And the look in her eyes... He knew then that they reflected the same love that she saw in his eyes. It wasn't until Scully reached up with both hands to gently wipe at his cheeks that he realized that he had been crying. The heaviest burden he had ever carried in his life, and she released him from it with those few words. It was a freedom beyond comparison.

"Let's not be alone anymore, Mulder," she finished. "We've both been alone for too long already."

Mulder held Scully's gaze in almost disbelieving silence, as she lovingly caressed his face in her hands.

The next thing either of them knew, they were holding each other close, nuzzling into each others arms, feeling warm, and safe. And loved. Both of them cried silently, feeling release from a loneliness they were sure they would never have to feel a gain.

Mulder looked up from Scully's fire-red hair and rested his forehead against hers, breathing deeply. His hands rubbed her back gently through the material of her robe, as her hands snaked up his neck and into the hair at the back of his head. They opened their eyes and looked deep into each others souls. Love and need filled them, a need that gnawed at them from the inside out. That hunger drew them into a kiss that began tenderly and tentatively at first, before deepening in passion and desire. Their tongues dueled with one another, as they held each other as tight as they could. Moans and tiny sounds escaped their mouths and throats as they kissed, before they slowly and finally broke their kiss, looking into each others eyes.

"I love you so much, Scully," Mulder whispered, eyes glistening, as he gently caressed Scully's face with his right hand, as if he were afraid she would break like porcelain or dissipate like mist. But she was still there, leaning her delicate feat ures into his hand, and looking into his eyes with all the love a heart could ever hold. The sight made him want to cry again.

"I love you too, Mulder," Scully whispered, kissing her partner - now lover - gently. She met his soulful gaze with her own for a long moment. "We've waited for this for five years. That's long enough." She began leading him slowly towards the hall, never breaking eye contact. "Make love with me now, Mulder."

Mulder wordlessly let Scully lead him down the hall and into her bedroom, where they fell into each others arms once again, kissing passionately and hungrily. Scully deftly divested Mulder of his shirt and jeans, mildly surprised that that was all he had on: his erection springing to throbbing life before Scully's eyes. Mulder kicked his shoes and socks off his feet, just before Scully's hand closed about him. He moaned helplessly in her grasp, as she slowly but firmly stroked him, while she kissed and nipped at his chest and nipples, driving him mad.

All the while, Mulder was fumbling with the sash of Scully's robe, finally untying it and slipping his hands inside to caress her soft skin, his fingers making trails of fire where he touched her. Scully shivered at his touch, but not so much as wh en his hands moved up to cup her round, full breasts in his hands, rubbing the nipples firmly with his thumbs. She lolled her head back, letting out a moan that grew louder when his lips found the hollow of her neck, sucking and biting there gently.

With a hungry growl of desire, Scully pulled Mulder down with her to the bed, their hands and mouths roaming each others bodies, wasting no more time with one another. Five years was enough.

"Take me now, Mulder," Scully whispered huskily. "Now."

With a mingled moan and growl, Mulder did as he was bidden, rolling Scully on her back, covering her body with his own. The kisses they shared deepened in intensity and hunger, as Scully parted her legs for Mulder to settle between them. A moment later, they were groaning in contentment as Mulder pushed slowly inside her.

"Ahhhh," Scully cried out gently, arching up into Mulder, her grip on his shoulders tightening a little. She wrapped her legs around Mulder's hips and ass, pulling him tighter against her. Tiny moans escaped her throat as she made little rocking movements, her inner muscles squeezing him gently at first.

"Oh God, Scully...," Mulder rasped, burying his face between his lover's breasts, nuzzling the soft skin between. Scully's movements and the sounds she made were enough to drive him mad and make him want to lose control. But he didn't. Not yet. Leaning up, he looked into Scully's face, breathing hard.

His gaze was met by a sapphire one: one which held unconditional and unyielding love for him. Just as he held for her.

"I love you, Scully," Mulder whispered.

"I love you too, Mulder," Scully murmured.

The rhythm they found was all their own, the pleasure and joy they felt drawing soft cries and sighs from their throats. Scully ran her nails up and down Mulder's back, crying out his name gently, as they rocked back and forth, driving each other insane. Soon, all coherent thought flew out the window, giving way to raw desire and primal hunger. Mulder pistoned in and out of Scully, making her moan loudly, her cries driving him on. The fire that began in their loins flowed through their bodies like flames through dry grass, searing them alive, as their climax surged closer and closer.

"Ohhh... Ohh God... Mulderrrr..."

"Scu... Scullyyy... God..."

And yet, even as it crashed into them, sending them hurtling into an abyss of ecstacy that was filled with nothing but their voices calling out each others names mingled with cries and choked sobs of release, they never once took their eyes from each other's.

Never once.

From beginning to end, they saw the love that had been there all this time.

It was later in the evening, and Scully lay curled in Mulder's warm embrace, as they lay together in her bed. She nuzzled against his chest, her nose tickled by the hairs on his skin. She smiled gently, placing a kiss above his heart.

"Penny for your thoughts," Mulder's gentle voice said suddenly.

Scully cuddled closer, holding Mulder to him.

"Are you scared?" she asked in a gentle whisper. They both knew what was meant by that question. It covered everything concerning their life. The conspiracy. The syndicate. The government. Everything.

"Every day," Mulder replied gently and simply, nuzzling his nose into Scully's hair. His hands trailed loving designs on her pale, almost translucent skin. "You know what scares me most?"

"Hmmmm... What...?"

"Not having you in my life, Scully. I could face the hounds of Hell if I had to. But I couldn't face living a life without you. That scares me to death."

Scully looked up into Mulder's face, delving deep into his soulful brown eyes. She reached up with her hands and caressed his face lovingly.

"You don't have to worry, then," she whispered, kissing him softly. "I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me, Agent Mulder. So just get used to it."

"Ma'am, yes ma'am," Mulder said with his trademark smile. It turned somber then. "I love you, Dana."

Scully smiled, unshed tears making her eyes shine, as she lovingly rubbed his cheek.

"I love you too, Fox," she murmured.

The partners and best friends- now lovers - shared a passionate and loving kiss that drew tears of love from their eyes. They then snuggled back into each others arms, falling gently back to sleep. Their mutual loneliness was ended, and would never return. They now shared a love that had been there all this time.

All along.

The End

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