The Familiar by Harrison Coin

STORIES ON THIS SITE ARE INTENDED FOR ADULTS ONLY

DISCLAIMER: We all know it, but one more time for posterity. All characters except the Familiar are copyright of Fox, 1013 and Chris Carter. I'm using them illegally, but I'm also using an psedonym, which I figure is the best way to cover my butt should this site be shut down.

WARNING: This story is NC-17, so you'd better either be eighteen or older. If you're offended by sexual imagery, don't read the story.

DISCLAIMER NUMBER TWO: This is my first effort, and I would like it to be known that it was born at three in the morning. So blame insomnia if it sucks.

The Familiar by Harrison Coin

"Clear!" The paddles came down on his chest.

He felt the kick of electricity, but in a vague way. He floated, and then he heard a long continuous beep.

"Time of death..."

Death?

He looked down.

"Oh, shit."

His dead body lay there.

What no one ever thought about the afterlife is that it might be really boring.

At least he thought it was the afterlife. He had been dicking around this hospital for three days, and hadn't found jack. No pearly gates, no lost souls, just him wandering through the corridors.

By chance, he walked through (literally though, you never got used to that) the doors to an ER.

"I'm losing her!!!"

Losing? Damn! He looked up.

And saw an angel.

Red hair, short but still beautiful. Creamy skin. She didn't dye her hair, he couldn't help noticing. Petite, with a figure he had never seen except in pictures.

And then the doctor, the rat bastard, saved her.

Oh, they thought she was dead, but she came back. She was alive, and he was alone again.

He went to her room, and found a guy there. Handsome, he guessed, he was straight, he didn't know what women liked. Hair looked awful, good God what a lousy tie. Worked out though,

If anything had happened to her...

That wasn't his thought. Then he realized, it was the guy's. Her boyfriend. Great.

"Mulder?"

My God, he's sexy.

Shit, this was getting annoying! He really did not want to know more about these two, and he certanly didn't want to see them screwing. But he began noticing that, at least on the surface, it wasn't a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Friends?

There was a wallet on the end table.

He focused on it, and the top part vanished. Inside there was an FBI badge and a picture of his angel. Her name was Dana. He had known a Dana once...but that was neither here nor there, he thought hurriedly, thinking his telepathy might be two-way.

It wasn't. He was relieved, but he wouldn't be.

He followed Dana and Fox back to Washington. Being unusually ethical for him, he decided to go the guy's apartment instead.

Nice fishtank, he thought sarcastically, but it needs something trivial. Like fish.

Fox stretched out on the couch and unzipped his fly.

Great. This guy was going to jerk off right in front of him.

He picked up the remote and hit a few buttons, and Stacked, his favorite porno movie came on. It was about cardsharps, but who cared? It had a blonde with really big tits!

Mulder went slowly at first, and started moving faster and faster. Normal activity for a porno movie, but Mulder's eyes were closed. And, an involuntary glance down later, he knew Fox's anatomy would make any woman happy.

Fox began moaning. The familiar stood up and started yelling.

"Great, just great! If I hadn't had an attack of the ethics, I'd be watching Dana strip right now, and not have to hear you whacking off! Man, why don't you FUCK her? Just walk up to her and say" His voice intoned "'Dana, I'm gonna jump your bones!' But do you do that? NOOOOO! Some idiotic sense of 'professional ethics', read FRIGHT, keeps you from enjoying yourself!"

The familiar charged right up to Mulder and yelled in his ear "What....is...your...PROBLEM????"

"Dana...." Fox sighed, and the familiar jumped out of the way.

But Mulder had held it in. Good man. On the other hand, if I were whacking off on a leather couch, I'd hold it in too. Oh, wait, fake leather. Go figure.

Mulder fell asleep still holding his penis. The porno movie went on.

Dana sat at her laptop, merrily tapping away, while Fox was scribbling on his notepads.

"Nice place you got here, Fox. Butt ugly posters, sexual frustration, one desk, it's like being trapped in your apartment."

Fox and Dana, of course, didn't hear him.

He went over to Dana, just to see what she was doing.

His hands wander over me, feeling the sensation of silk pressed against my skin...

"I'm starting to wonder how you people get any work done around here, you're too damn busy needing to get sex lives!" The familiar shoved his head through the notebook screen.

"Hey, Dana, why don't you try...." his voice went into a ridiculous falsetto. "Fox, I want your manhood.' Say it with me Dana, Fox I want your manhood."

And he just barely heard the whisper, "Fox, I..."

The familiar kept his mouth shut for the rest of the day.

He went home with Dana this time. As much as he liked Fox's porno movies, the guy was driving him nuts, jerking off and saying his partner's name in his sleep. That's another thing, you don't sleep when you're dead.

Her blazer landed carelessly on the couch. Strange, she was usually more fastidious.
Next came the shoes, the hose, the...

Oh, geez. He turned away until he heard the unmistakable rustle of silk on flesh and then looked. She was decent, in a red silk kimono and nothing else from the look of the pile on the floor. Good. Maybe now he could get to the bottom of this thing.

Frankly it had been driving him nuts and pissing him off in a big way that these two weren't together by now. The country needed them to solve major paranormal cases, not be sexually frustrated. It was a public service he was doing. Anyway, they might find the Pearly Gates or the big Slip'N'Slide to Hell, and either way he wanted to be there when they did. This was starting to suck.

"So, Dana, tell em about...oh, shit, go for ten minutes without taking your clothes off!"

Dana was indeed taking her kimono off. The familiar turned away...and looked right into a mirror. She landed on the couch. These two had a real affinity for couches!

Her fingers traced her nipples, making them rise, stiff and pointy. Her finger slowly began sliding down her body, touching...until it brushed that certain place...

He spent the better part of an hour in the closet, listening to the groans and whimperings in his mind. Her finger popped into her vagina, and HE nearly got off. She was really good at masturbation! But generally, he stayed out of her mind.

When she stopped, he came out of the closet. She was still nude, but he'd seen that anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. He noticed that this place was pretty IKEA. Needed a little something, a guy's touch. Maybe Fox's pool ball hat rack...nahhh.

"So, Dana, I'm guessing you haven't been getting any recently."

I wish HE were here, touching me...

"Why is it I hear the dirty thoughts and nothing else? I'm as voyueristic as the next guy but this is really too much!"

Her next thought made him walk out of the apartment. On his way out, he noticed the apartment number. Wasn't 4 on the fourth floor?

The super had screwed up and was too lazy to fix it, his mind answered.

He nodded and started walking towards Mulder's. He didn't think about how his mind so quickly provided the answers.

"Halt, dog!"

So that's what Mulder used the computer for. He liked Wolfenstein3D himself.

Mulder closed the program.

"You idiot, you didn't save!"

Mulder picked up a tape recorder.

"Oh, shit, here we go again."

"Private log..."

"Date yadda, yadda, I wanna fuck Dana, yadda yadda, either do it or get over it, Fox! God, you guys are such a bunch of whiners!"

"Dana wore the red suit today."

"Jesus Christ, I'm trapped with a high school kid who has a junior G-man badge!!!"

Dana did the same thing, taped her erotic thoughts about her partner. These two needed to find out about each other. Hmmmm.

"Hey, Fox, my pal, mind bringing that tape in tomorrow?"

Fox put the tape recorder in his raincoat.

"Good man." The familiar walked through the door, sank down and started heading to Dana's. Time to pull the old switcheroonie.

Fox took his tape recorder, or rather Dana's tape recorder, out of the raincoat. "What the hell was that doing there?"

"Fox, you'll be thankful that it did."

Fox hit play, and the look of shock on his face was classic. As Dana described, in graphic detail, what she wished Fox would do to her, the look of shock turned to a sort-of embarassed/sort-of ecstatic look.

"So, buddy, are we going to be spanking the monkey, or are we going to be going to Dana's house to make her wish your command?"

Fox got his car keys.
"Smart guy, you're learning."

"Scully, I, um," Fox coughed.

"Yeah, uh, me too, Mulder, here's yours." She stuck the little oblong box out to him and he took it. The familiar noticed he brushed her hand, just slightly, but that it was intentional. He handed hers back, and she reciprocated.

"See you at work tomorrow?"

"Uh, yeah, sure, great."

Neither sounded all that enthusiastic.

"SEE YOU AT WORK TOMORROW??? What a FUCKING idiot! You had her in the palmn of your hand, not to mention other organs, and what do you say? May I come in? Want to fuck? Nooooooo, you say 'I'll see you at work tomorrow!' Good Christ you people are fucking nuts!!!"

Later on....

'Oh, put it away for ten seconds, you've been at it all night! Geez, never mind, I'm going to Dana's. See ya, moron!"

It wasn't any different at Dana's.

"Scully, we need to talk."

"Yes, I guess we do."

"I had no idea you had these feelings for me..."

"You're as surprised as I am, I guess." Dana relaxed visibly for what the familiar guessed was the first time around Fox. The familiar for once kept his mouth shut.

"How long has it been since you had sex, Mulder?"

Even the familiar was caught off-guard by her directness.

"Years. You?"

"I don't even remember."

Well, they're being honest, the familiar thought. Man, they were uncomfortable.

"I don't think work is the best place to continue our...conversation, Mulder."

"You're right. Eight thirty, my place?"

"How about mine? Futons are really uncomfortable."

"You're telling me. Eight thirty at your place."

A little piece of Eastern wisdom ocurred to both of them. "Even a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."

The familiar was too busy high-fiving himself to notice.

"So..."

"So."

"Try kissing her, genius."

God, I want to kiss her...

"DO IT!"

Fox slowly, hesitantly, starting kissing her. Soon all hesitance was gone, and they were kssing deeply, tongues intertwining even as the clothing started coming off. Fox was too aroused to even use a condom. Dana's legs parted like waves from Moses and Mulder urgently slid in.

Their bodies joined in unison, and perfect harmony was achieved. Her hips thrust to meet his, his cries joined with hers.

My God, the familiar thought, this isn't a fucking I'm watching, this is a joining. They are sharing souls, and I get to watch.

On the heels of that, he thought, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

As with everything else in the coupling, they climaxed together. Dana's nails bt into Fox's flesh as he shuddered inside her. She held her breath in a long moment, and then it slid out. Fox rolled off her, and they began talking, about fear, about hesitation, about desire.

They didn't know why it had taken them so long, but the familiar did. Even as he faded into whatever oblivion was his, he thought, a joining is not something done lightly. But it is something done well.

END

Continue to "Familiarity Breeds Contempt"

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